The veggie-sausage stuff is decent though.

http://www.magiciso.com/

Recently I have dedicated some time to read something fun, so I picked up Neuromancer and The Moon is a Harsh Mistress. Two books by greats of the science fiction genre that I had never read before. Neuromancer is an awesome tale that pretty much created the cyberpunk genre, and I found it very enjoyable. It is somewhat old, but has held up pretty well with time. The Moon is a Harsh Mistress is a story of libertarian revolution on the moon, which is of course right up my alley. It is even older, but has been a great read so far.

I hope to put up reviews of both of these soon, and will probably hit up one of the books on the top one hundred list next. It is nice to get a chance to read some good adventure again!

Monday is my last day here at my current job. I have been lucky enough to find a great new employer that I am totally excited to be working for. Hopefully my life will get somewhat back to normal now.

The crazy thing is I should have done this five years ago! I always felt like I was not good enough to get a “real” job in my field (software development), but that is untrue. My experience is worth a lot more than previously thought, and it will be valuable to my new company.

So here is to life refreshed, and to discovering things that I never thought were possible.

Oh yeah, I hope to start blogging more again. It is very therapeutic.

So, she went to the doc yesterday and he said she was doing well. The swelling is going down it seems, and the antibiotics are working. Her knee will be a little sore for a month or so and that is about it.

Thank God, it sounds like this thing is going to end as not to big a deal in the long run. Interestingly, he said such an infection is very rare. They see maybe one a year at that hospital, especially with such a young child. We will never know what caused it or exactly what it was. A medical mystery I suppose.

Brooke is going to go back to day care next week, and our life will get back to normal hopefully.

Thanks again for all the kind words. It is amazing, how parents can empathize with each other so adeptly, when one of their children are concerned.

After the customary hour or two wait we managed to get her leg x-rayed, which she was none too happy about, and eventually were told that she had a bunch of fluid in and around the joint. After some deliberating her orthopedic surgeon decided to go ahead and take her to the operating room! Our little trek to get some x-rays, maybe some pain medicine, and a ACE bandage just got serious.

We were shocked and horrified of course. We had only brought a single bottle and a couple of diapers with us, and had been discussing where to take Brookie to dinner after she was done at the ER. The surgeon told us that he was just going to use a needle to extract the fluid, a common procedure. If it looked infected they would cut a small hole in her knee, flush out the area, and install a drain. After agreeing to the doctor’s plans, and signing the paperwork, we had to witness the first of many coming heartbreaks. Brookie of course had to get an IV put in and at this point, she had been sitting in this small room for six hours or so.

I ended up having to leave the room while they put the IV in. Nothing I have ever known can reduce a tough guy to a blubbering, sobbing, idiot, quicker than seeing and hearing his baby girl screaming in pain and frustration. Babies have no concept of a stranger trying to help them in this way. They only know that some person is holding them down, and poking at them with sharp instruments. The look of horror and betrayal on her face was more than I could bear.

The surgeon called us in the waiting room twenty minutes into the procedure and let us know that the fluid indeed, looked infected. They then made their incision, flushed the joint, and installed the drain. After a couple of long hours we followed our sedated little angel up to her room. Sometime after midnight she started stirring a bit, so we got the nurse to give her some pain medicine. She pretty much slept through the night, and most of the next day.

We had been told that she would probably be allowed to go home sometime on the second day of her stay, which was Tuesday. Her infectious disease doctor came in on Tuesday and informed us that she would be kept on intravenous antibiotics for at least five days. This was disheartening to say the least. We had hoped to go home on that day, and were told matter-of-factly that we would be staying for at least the week. The same day her orthopedic surgeon came in and checked her wound, and removed the drain. Later that day a new infectious disease doctor came to examine her. He was not happy with the way her affected leg looked, and ordered an MRI for Wednesday morning. The doctor was concerned that she might also have an infection in her femur, which would not have shown up on the x-rays.

Toddlers and MRIs do not mix well, so she would have to be put under again for the MRI. Wednesday was taken up with this procedure. We were told that the preliminary results looked good. There did not seem to be any infection in the bone.

Somewhere on Wednesday or Thursday we were told that the antibiotics they had been giving her did not work. The timeline is a little fuzzy at this point. A new antibiotic was started. This leads me to the worst parts of the entire experience. Brooke was in the hospital for a total of seven days. For the first five days she was on contact isolation. This means she was not allowed to leave her room or interact with any of the other patients. There are activities and playrooms at the hospital, but she was not able to enjoy any of them. Keeping a fifteen month old child in the same room for five days, basically confined to a twin bed, is not a fun experience. Our girl was quite the trooper however, and she handled it better than we did.

Throughout her stay Brooke had seven or so new IVs started. Her little veins just could not hold up to the antibiotics. They collapsed generally after 24 hours or so, and she inadvertently removed one IV that was not properly secured. These times are quite possibly the worst times of my life. After a couple of days in the hospital my little girl went from a smiling and happy outgoing baby, to a fearful and reclusive baby. The worst memory I have happened when they came in one day to give her a new IV. It was her third one probably. The poor little defenseless child saw them coming and hid her hands under her butt to try to defend herself. From that point on, anyone that came in her room was seen by her, as someone there to hurt her. The doctors couldn’t hardly examine her without a stream of tears and screams of fright.

She ended up having to sleep in the small bed with my wife every night, because the hospital crib represented nothing but pain to her. We couldn’t put her in it to change a diaper without her getting upset. At one point a team came in to start a new IV and spent fifteen minutes poking at her and restraining her with no result. They could not get it. At that point the IV team was called up who successfully started a new one. No one else was allowed by us to try after that incident. Thankfully only one more had to be placed before we came home.

Please don’t get me wrong here. Cook Children’s Hospital is the finest medical facility I have ever been in. They actually had me as a patient for around a dozen or so surgeries and illnesses as a small child. The staff are the best, and I could not hope for better treatment for our daughter. At the same time, I have never felt so helpless. When Brooke falls down I can instantly pick her up, and comfort her. At times during her hospitalization, I either had to watch her stare at me with the most betrayed and hurt look that I have ever seen, or abandon her while people hurt her. The fact that they were professional wonderful people simply trying to cure her illness, made no difference to her, and her pain ate me alive every time.

Sunday morning, a new round of blood tests were done. They showed that her septic level had decreased. So the new antibiotic was working. Surprisingly we were told that afternoon that we could take her home and continue the antibiotics orally. I can’t right now recall many times in my life that I was more rejoiceful than this one. The flood of relief that came over both of us was an awesome experience.

Tomorrow Brooke goes in for a followup. Hopefully the antibiotics are still winning the battle and she will not have to have another surgery to drain the infected fluid. If she does, we will take it one day at a time as we did this time. I pray that this will not be the case.

While we were leaving a tinge of guilt came over me. We got to know a few of the families on our floor during this long week. They were not as blessed as us at that moment. They did not get to go home. Their babies were still very sick, and the parents were still full of uncertainty. A week long hospital stay for a baby is a long one, and is something I hope not to repeat ever again. There are dozens of families at that hospital at this very moment that have been there for weeks, and months. Some of them will never leave as a complete family, and my heart aches for them.

Any of you that have read my blog for long know that I have a soft heart for children. Before last week I of course knew that there were sick kids. It wasn’t real to me however as it is now. Seeing a toddler that has had six heart surgeries, or a small child that has lost his hair due to his cancer treatments, made it all too real. I have prayed for God to keep my baby safe every day since we received her, and I will continue to do so in earnest. I will also pray for the sick babies and their poor parents from this point forward as well.

If you have a healthy child, thank God for them as I do, and go give them a hug. Not all parents are as fortunate as we are.

Yesterday, she laid in my lap for nearly the entire day. You could tell she was just miserable. Last night she slept well, so hopefully we are on the downward side of this thing. All you parents know how aweful we feel when our little ones are sick, and there isn’t much we can do about it.