Epic Bacon Fail

November 8th, 2009

My wife bought some tofu “bacon”. It turned out to be little flat sheets of cardboard nastiness with a bacon flavoring. Not fit to eat. It basically is like eating a dust brick of gross, with a hint of a bacon tease in the background. Curses on this bacon abomination.

The veggie-sausage stuff is decent though.

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Bacon of the Gods

October 23rd, 2008

Our new blogger buddy Bore Patch has brought up a recent trend in bacon-blogging. He says all the cool kids are doing it, so I have succumbed to peer pressure once again.

I will say to begin with that I am in fact not a heretic, as I may soon be accused. Please read all of what I have to say before casting thy stone my way. We are here simply to point out that there is a higher level of nirvana than our normal American bacon (shall it be praised forever). The product of which I speak certainly does not come from Canada, where they eat that back-meat they sacrilegiously dare to call bacon. No, this beloved deity of culinary delight comes to us from across the pond. The big pond. It in fact hails mainly from Italy, although it is known in other parts as well. The delectable pork product of which I speak of course is the lovely pancetta.

Ah sweet pancetta, your glorious aroma fills my soul with glee. The thought of rendering you in a dutch oven with a miripoix is heaven on earth. Thy saintly perfume fills my kitchen as I embark on a most remarkable culinary journey. There is nothing that can go wrong once you are in my pan, as long as I do my duty to treat you as you are to be treated. Surely God had you in mind when he blessed us with His most tasty of creatures.

Well, enough of that. I got a little carried away there. Pancetta is a dry-cured product that is made ONLY from the belly of the pig. Our bacon comes from the sides as well at times. There is nothing wrong with that of course, but pancetta is in a different league than normal bacon. It has a consistent layer of dense wonderful pork fat. It also is not smoked, all the flavor comes from the fat, muscle, and the spices it is dried with. It is usually sold rolled up like a sausage or just as a flat belly. Pancetta is more aromatic than our smoked bacon. Think if it like a nice dry-aged steak, as compared with the typical rib-eye you get at the grocer. The pork flavor is concentrated more in pancetta.

This delicacy is often dried for months, before being sold. With this investment in time comes a substantial increase in price. If you have never cooked with pancetta I urge you to give it a try sometime. It is great in pasta sauces, and I use it with great effect when I make Mario Batali’s Lasagna Bolognese, which just might be the food of all foods.

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